1 hour, 22 minutes, & sooo many seconds

Good evening, it's raining now, so basically I've got nothing better to do.

Ohh and ...

... to all my Muslim friends :)

What's with the title? That was actually the call duration that I got from my bestfriend last night XD

It's been sooo long since we don't get the chance to chit chat, and catching up with each other. But then she called yesterday.

*aku ni kedekut kredit sebenarnya*

At 1st it was a serious talk, she sort of having a problem at the moment.

In need of advice, I gave her laughter.

You see, when there's a problem, to cry afterwards won't get the job done, you'll just worsen the problem.

#1 my advice would be to cheer up.

Because things are already been done.

Nasi dah jadi bubur, kau nak panaskan lama2 pun, kering, tapi jadi nasi impit!

#2 think carefully, plan back on what to do next.

Even babies think of alternatives when they fall after each attempt to walk.

#3 set back your mind.

Self motivation is a must.

You don't just jump into conclusion, "I'm stupid" then die.

There are reason why you have those certain age, why don't you just die before? *aite?*

*and why am i talking about die here?*

My point is,  NEVER GIVE UP  :)

As long as you're still alive,

there's a chance waiting for you to make it happen, there's still hope for a brighter future, there's still some space for improvement.

These are actually for you guys out there.

Anyone, anybody, no matter who you are.

*and that includes you, the I'm talking to last night!*

p/s: so nice to get a chance to talk to you last night, gelak sampai lupa diri,, and it seems like you'll be having so much more to face in your part 4 this coming December.  Just cheer up and do your very best. I know you can do it. Make them proud this time ok?  

And don't stress out! 

with love,

"To my dearest Shiro, I'm sorry for not being there"

Salam Tahun Baru Hijrah :)

Assalamualaikum w.b.t. and good morning

I think it has been awhile I haven't updated my blog. I even got a request from my junior in Muar to update it.

But I never thought I would be writing about this :'(

It's been few days I've been chasing a very small cat here in UNIMAS :)

A toddler I would say, quite a newborn. 4 of them were born around late last month. And I've been trying to touch them ever since, even the mom got scared sometime XD

*as if I'm going to cook them*

But just few days ago, I only saw one of them (if it was them). The same mixed-colored kitten, quite bigger in size, wandering alone by itself, quite a 'penakut' too, and I never saw the others anymore (so I assume he/she is one of them).

And luckily, it was easy to approach him (let's just call it 'him' alrite). You just point out food, or come towards it slowly, he won't budge.

Then i missed my dearest baby at home, his name is Shiro :)

[this picture was taken during the early days]

Can you see his blue eye on the left side, and green on the other side?

That's what makes him special, among the reason why I was able to raised him, and dad won't let it away :P

Just like other cats, how can you not love them when practically every day,

facing all this?

[this was at our previous home, Port Dickson]

[this was 2 days before, was about to bring him along to the beach]

[at grandma's in Salak Selatan]

[among our latest house in Bandar Tasik Selatan, taken last year]

He has been a very naughty little boy too. When the first time we got him, he was extremely tame *manja gila woi* and so we thought he was a girl, he was first called Shiru *not much of the different aite?* XD (hijau + biru)

Until we had an accompany for him, 'another female cat' X3

[her name was Dippy, she died late last year]

Shiro seems to be more vicious than before, being less friendly as before, *jealous much?*, after a few months, than we know it was a 'he' :D But the thing is, why being mad at Dippy? (this is sooo not the mating issue) XD But before she died, they were like best friends, always running here and there, battling (I was about to say fighting, but that doesn't sound right), never failed to make me and the rest of my family smile :)

Then after a few months, than we know, "it's a BOY!" and no wonder for that sudden distance between us and him *kucing jantan kan sombong* but that doesn't last long, he became tamer after Dippy died.

[bila terlepas pandang X3] @ Bandar Tasik Selatan

Now here I am, doing my first Degree in Sarawak and before this, my Foundation program in Puncak Alam for a year. Somehow we were distanced. Haven't had the chance to spend a lot of time with him. After my Foundation, while trying to get along with him almost 3 months, I got a job, so I'm staying at my grandma's while he's staying with the family at BTS. And before entering UNIMAS, got a whole week to be with him :)

But that is when my heart breaks. To see him collecting scars and countless wounds. I often visited our home to check on the family, and what would i be for not visiting him as well :) But every visit, all the wounds increases and getting worst, he's been into a lot of fight. And we got running around dogs in Rawang (just moved there).

To hear him brought to the clinic twice while I am here in Sarawak, which forced him to be caged and not letting him out as a precaution, how does that make you feel? He needed surgery to one of his legs. My heart dropped.

You're here, knowing nothing what is happening there.

And now to know that Shiro died 3 days after Aidiladha?

What do you expect for me to respond?

Suddenly, a flash where teachers and lecturers kept saying this,

"no such things as leave when your cat died", that hit me hard.

I never thought I'm feeling all this.

Despair, frustration, shocked, ultimate sadness.

Some would say it's just a cat. Well not me.

What's worst, is the way he was found. My little brother said it was my dad who found him. Abah was already like a father to Shiro. Even mom said so :)

Abah have been the one taking care of him ever since I got busy with studies.

And I wonder, what did Abah felt? Was it the same like I do?

Everything happen while I'm not around, I lost 2 valuable things while it is not in my possession. But why it has to be Shiro now? -I'm out of words-

"To my dearest Shiro, I'm sorry for not being there."

love,